Sunday, January 1, 2012

Fun With My Stats 2 - The Good, The Bad, The Naughty

Fun With My Stats 2

With the new year now with us, shining a bit of hope to my crappy 2011, I decided to do another one of these posts due to my good mood.

I did mention in my first "Fun With My Stats" post that this would be a semi-annual thing, as was my original intention. However, the interwebs are so busy that I keep getting oh so many lovely hits generated from even more lovely searches.

So, I decided to make these posts according to hits and not at specific time intervals, as long as such "unique" searches bring people here. Because some of these are just too precious to keep all to myself for so long.

I shall categorize them for easier viewing.

Kang Dong Won and His Colorful Bunch

"Assassin creep" was one search, which probably lead to that picture from "Camellia", which reminded me of an Assassin's Creed promotional image. Or maybe they were looking for another kind of assassin creep, but from what I see, he's both pretty assassin-ey and creepy in "Camellia". Well, not so much assassin as radically-recuding-the-population-of-future-Busan-is-my-dream freak.

Speaking of creep, someone found my blog by "the creep kang dong won". Now, either that was one of my lovely ladies, or then we are spreading quite the nickname for the poor man online.

I also got hits for one search which can actually be fully answered by another one. Someone searched for "kang dong won topless photoshoot". Trust me, you don't want that. Because, as you see in most of his pictures (including the one at the top of this post, which is scary) and as someone who was led here typed, "kang dong won skinny". The man might be tall, quite handsome, oozing with charisma and have a nice body frame, but he seems to approach eating and working out with the same willingness a vampire would approach garlic. Especially during recent years.

Someone searched for "kang dong won as santa claus". I hope not, as I would definitely be on his naughty list. I know the picture you're talking about though, but I don't remember where it was. He only had the hat on. But because it's the holidays and I don't want to disappoint you, here's one of Santa's helpers.

Those Clothes...
He looks like a bee dressed as a reindeer

The last result for this batch was "is kang dong won a chaebol's son". Well, if by "chaebol" you mean the kind we see in drama, no. But his father is a vice president in some company or something, yes. If I remember well from some article that's around. So I guess he is. There goes our dream of getting married to him someday; a very achievable and realistic one which we surely had until now...

Song Hye Kyo and Her Disturbed "Fans"

Let's start with "song hye kyo fat"... Well, if you mean she is fat now, I can only sincerely hope that whoever you are, you never have daughters. Because if Song Hye Kyo is your definition of "fat" then I really cringe at the thought of what your "svelte" is. Oh, sorry, difficult word for people of your brain capacity. I meant "slim".

The one that really cracked me up was the "song hye kyo still a virgin" one. Yes, hon, she is. All she has done with any man in private, including the two celebrity boyfriends, is play Go Stop. Although that could also be a good nickname for it...

Like any beautiful healthy woman, this is the only thing that comes in her mouth

And now comes the disturbing one. "Vagina songhyekyo beautiful fredly"... Uhm... I really don't know what this person was thinking. I get "vagina songhyekyo". I mean, she's a gorgeous woman and I bet many guys have done such a search (I'm surprised you thought you could find results though). I can also make sense of "songhyekyo beautiful friendly", which I am guessing is what that last word meant. But all of these words together are just mad. It's like a split personality consisting of a male perv and a fangirl with a girl-crush was fighting over the keyboard. It's good I don't know.

The Random Ones

Because they always come up. Someone googled "pulling a door". Here you go. With English subtitles too.

Then we have "so many cats". Yes, many many cats. We're fangirls. We love cats. To the individual who googled "weak person", yes, I do talk about fangirls here. As for the person who searched for "female convict poster", sorry that I could not give you what you needed. About the "kooky looker", he is on my banner and tags. Another person googled "fangirls fantasize deviantart". They do indeed and wait till you see tumblr, my friend...

Speaking of tumblr and fangirls, someone looked for "beautiful asian guys on tumblr". Oh, you are going to find a lot of those indeed. And I bet you'd find "korean guys in the dynasties with long hair" too. I hope whoever was looking for that found my "Duelist" posts. I feel ya. Them Korean period men with long hair are really a sight, aren't they?

Someone googled for "deformed people". I don't know what exactly you are looking for, but I do mention that about Fallout 3. They are virtual people though.

My favorite one in the random category has got to be this one though:

"i swear on my mother's rechargeable batteries"

Thank you for that. It gave me a nice laugh.

All Things Naughty and Disturbing

See, they do call me Ero Ori so I guess I should be honored that such people end up on my blog. But I am more disturbed than honored, so I guess I am growing all soft and decent... Maybe.

One person was searching for "women in skimpy clothes in public videos". Well, pick your kpop girlband and watch some MVs? Or do you mean public as in out in the streets? Again, most young women dress like sluts nowadays so that should be really easy to find.

Then we have "kang dong ho actor smut fiction". Really? This Kang Dong Ho?

Kang Dong Ho

Well, whatever floats your boat, but if looking for topless pictures of him would be pathetic, this is pathetic x 3. Fantasizing is healthy. We all do it. Sitting down, writing everything sexual that can come to mind about that person and publishing it online is twisted. Looking to read those "works" of a twisted individual is even more pathetic and twisted. Hell, I write the occasional naughty comments for the fun of it, but most things stay in my brain, love. Where they should be. So, do yourself a favor and keep reality and fangirling where they belong. On different planes.

And of course, we have the chronicles of pussy here. We got "innocent pussy shots", "japan pussy", "korean pussy" and "young japanese pussy at work". Miss Iron Pussy, you have worked your magic of trolling my readers once again.

But I am not one to disappoint, so here.

For you

There were also hits for "asian bromance" and "incest temptation". The only bromance you'll find here is the innocent kind and whether that other person is looking for "Temptation of Wolves" or actually searching for tendencies to fondle your family, I would kindly ask you to not mention that crap to me and piss off respectively. Unless you are trying to find others who think the movie was pure crap, in which case, welcome!

One of the most disturbing searches was "hyun bin in hell". Now, either you have very bad views about the South Korean army or you want the guy to go to hell. I sincerely hope it's the former.

Last, but not least, someone wanted to find "korea cock". I do have one for you here and he's gorgeous. And even if it's bad to say this, he looks yummy.

I wouldn't mind a piece of that

What I love about these posts is that, by repeating these phrases here, I will get even more results from people searching them, which means that even more people will be trolled by my blog when they come-a-knockin' for what their groin heart desires. I love the internet...

Happy New Year!

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