Sunday, June 10, 2012

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams


I am pretty sure this is a big blogging no no. Talking about things like your dreams and irrelevant (to others) topics. But this place is called Orion's Ramblings, so fuck the rules. Speaking of such, there is some profanity in this text. Not that that's news with me.

Here it is then; a dream which had me giggling in my pillow when I woke up. One proving I'd make a pretty deranged director too. Although such dreams are common.

Daytime. Me and my mother are visiting the Elisa shop where I got my smartphone. Our purpose? Simple. Pretend we just dropped by to thank for my phone, find the pushy saleswoman and ask her where she takes the aerobics classes she mentioned last time, so that my mother can join to cure her back problems. So we are having coffee and talking. I ask her for the classes and she says she can give me the address. It’s at her house, which is right next to the store. We leave my mother there and head for her house, in what now appears to be a hybrid of my town here and some area back in Greece.

Trippy Elisa
The Elisa promotional material at the time was appropriately trippy (photo by Mikko Harma)

So, we enter a very Greek building, looking new and unfinished. It’s newly painted (all white) and I can smell the fresh paint drying. It’s a bright summer’s day and on the right hand side of the apartment building, you can see water through the not yet finished windows and doors. It’s either a lake or an ocean (Alan Wake flashbacks here), but we move on.

The lady, which has now turned into a Greek thin woman with orange puffy hair and very fancy white clothes with a golden belt (you know, them rich 60+ types), is saying she is a bit scared to live there, as there are mobsters outside. As we reach the apartment, still located on the ground floor, I hear a very nice voice singing. Apparently, the mobsters were at a mafia wedding and some boss was entertaining. My thoughts at that point were “Wow. What a nice melodic voice for a killer”.

We reach the apartment and I leave my scarf and hat on a furniture (yes, it’s still summer), but the apartment is now on the 5th floor (which I have not discovered yet). The lady has found the paper with the address and she tells me to look around while she gets ready to go back to the store. I find a huge dark room with a high ceiling, which looks more like a basketball stadium. Although it’s one room, it has been cleverly separated with furniture, to create a studio apartment within the apartment. She comes into the room and I tell her she has nice interior design skills.

At this point, the old lady has turned into my relative and friend, Ilia. I look through the books and movies, to find a copy of “Twilight”. Then we start a mini entertainment argument over it, with me saying why I hate it, while she is saying why she likes it. We are heading for the elevator, still having a geek-out over vampire movies, and we reach the ground floor.

I don't know what she liked about it, but I hope it wasn't Stewart's expression and skills...

All should be good now, but then I realize I have forgotten my hat at her place. I take the elevator up (it’s at this point where I know it’s the 5th floor) and enter her place to grab it. I look towards the bathroom and there’s a friggin’ tied and naked Kim Seong Oh in it… The shower was also malfunctioning and he was doused in water. At this point, the three “me”s are having a blast. The “I” in the dream is thinking “Oh God, who put this poor scared man here?”, the fangirl and conscious “I” is thinking “Daaaamn, a naked and wet hot Korean man in crazy dreams is never a bad thing” while the control freak “director I” is thinking “Stop ruining the realism of this with weird insane twists!!!”

I blame this scene from "The Man From Nowhere" for that image, by the way.

Apparently, he was there because the mobsters from next door were looking for a place to hide him before they introduce him to the fishes. I do the only rational thing here. I grab my hat, untie the nekkid hottie, grab him by his damn fine muscly waist, throw a coat on him and out we go. The thugs are right outside the door as we reach the ground floor in the elevator, so we hightail from an opening in the back, which would be a door when the building got finished.

We reach a car parked outside, which I did recognize as I had seen it in the Korean OCN series “Hero” just that previous night. Kim enters the car, now wearing a sleeveless black top and some sort of army pants. His hair must have grown from terror, as he now has a ponytail style like princey in “Rooftop Prince” before the haircut. Damn, wish I could grow my hair during a 5 story elevator trip.

Me and my friend enter the car too, but now she is Yoo Hae Jin and I am… I think I was Jason Lee… But at least all three of us men are now dressed in cool dark action movie clothes. Into the kickass ride we go and I am driving.

The Cast
I did pick a pretty awesome cast, didn't I? Damn, now I wanna see it!

The bad guys are on our tail, and they are apparently cops. Ok, another element from “Hero” here. Then things turn into a Leslie Nielsen parody, as the cops get out of their car during the fancy action film car chase scene and start kicking cars around, since they have turned into giants (I think I was trying to get myself to wake up due to extreme wtfness by now). One of them was a known actor from older movies, but I don’t know his name or remember exactly where I’ve seen him. We’ve now switched to night time and we seem to be in New York or Chicago.

A cop lady with long blond hair in what now looked like a late 80s/early 90s parody movie, starts going Magneto and trying to Force-gather stuff to throw at the bad guys. She is pretty unskilled and accidentally throws them to a nearby hobo who tells her to be careful. She tries to exercise some authority by asking if he’s the one crapping everywhere. She is surrounded by the movie stereotypes, which are cliché enough for me to lol at that point. There’s an old beggar-like woman saying I’ll save everyone as it’s the whole point, the cowardly guy next to her going apeshit and asking her what that means and the taller mentor-type having faith and watching.

The fight is done and me and my friend (the hottie took a hike when it all went crazier, probably) go to meet the cop and her peeps. And now, we are mice walking upright, with clothes and this is a post-apocalyptic dark mouse cartoon… I am a hot young man-mouse and my sidekick is a cuddly shorter and slightly portly mister-mouse. I think he was inspired by Monterey Jack, from “Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers”. We’re both in steampunk clothing , by the way.

This, but steampunkier and more depressing. Less crazy though.

The cop lady is asking what the fuck I have caused and my sidekick is quick to shut her up by (very politely) saying they should thank me, as I’ve lived outside the “zone” (apparently, the world is dead and filled with monsters outside the city walls) and therefore know how to survive and am generally the baddest motherfucker they’ll ever come across in that hellhole.

It’s at this point where I woke up and started giggling in my pillow, thinking about how messed up a hilarious dream it was, when I went from an electronics store visit with my mom to being a dashing hero mouse. Kim Seong Oh's "cameo" was hilarious. I’ve seen him getting his ass kicked so many times, I think he was the reasonable choice for a panicked dude who’s about to get brand new cement shoes. He was quite calm and brave about it though.

I also love how I turned my friend into “junior/teen entertainment” characters I like (I liked Yoo Hae Jin's character, Chorangyi, from “Jeon Woochi” and the cartoon was one I watched as a kid). I don’t have much use for the lady from the electronics store, so I needed a partner I could trust. One to keep some sanity and innocence in place. Although she was no match for my messed up head. I am sorry I dragged you into this, love, but at least your avatar had fun with my crazy creations.

I don’t have fun dreams often (usually nightmares or slightly depressing ones), but such quirky random ones do come from time to time and they’re the best ones I have. So, here’s to more naked hotties! I mean, here’s to more wacky dreams!

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