Monday, October 17, 2011

Temptation of Wolves Drama - Here We Go Again

Needless to say, spoilers and cruelty for this gem of Korean cinema ahead... Oh how fate trolls me. One day after I bash this in my Hancinema review of "Haunters", we get news of it being turned into a drama.


Trollolol


"Temptation of Wolves"... I can't even say it, read it, write it without getting sick to my stomach. Well, actually, I am sick to my stomach today, but I mean during other days. This movie was hilarious.

I watched it with my mother, when I had first gotten into my Kang Dong Won obsession back in December or so. We laughed like mad during the entire movie. If you are thinking this is a good thing, then I hate to break it to you that this movie is actually supposed to be a drama.

The reason we laughed is because it was so god-awful that it was funny. There's only one thing you need to know to understand just how horrible that movie is. The "internet novelist" who wrote the original story is born in 1985 and is a fangirl. And she wrote this before 2004. So, do the math please.


THEM!


That is right. A teenage kyaagirl with raging hormones and no brains to support them wrote a "novel" and all the other fangirls who looked up to her for being able to write in more than 1 sentence, saw her as some kind of a goddess. She got published and they even made her works into movies and a musical too.

Both of the movies, "Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do" and the one in the title here, are among the worst pieces of cinema I have seen and I watch movies since infancy.

The movie is about a girl who is supposedly a plain everyday student, but manages to get two guys to fall for her immediately, despite lacking any character to support that. The main couple "fall in love" from one scene to the next, as it happened in the other movie as well, and you are left there, trying to figure out how, when and why it happened.

The plot has no kind of coherence, the "emotions" are all over the place and "shallow" is too kind a word to describe them. But wait! There's another thing happening here! Some new guy appears and keeps calling her noona and sticking to her like gum. Good for the Lee Cheong Ah, since he's Kang Dong Won and all, but not quite so wonderful for her character. Because he happens to be her long lost brother. Biological one.

So her suddenly-boyfriend gets jealous and does mean things, like lock the door to his convertible while the roof is raised and making her angry, frustrated and manically pulling the door handle to bits because she can't get out. From the convertible with its top pulled back...


Convertible

"Now I will never get out from this car..."


You can't blame the guy for getting pissed, though, because men can sense when another guy is after their woman. Yes, good people. Her biological brother has been in love with her all his life, despite not seeing her but a few times until they are in highschool. And no, I don't mean "in love" as in "admiring her and having brotherly feelings of affection towards his older sister". I mean he has the hots for her...

And instead of pushing this incest-prone stranger away, she feels sorry for him and keeps him close. Because that is the best practice for a complete stranger with mental issues. And no, they don't know each other well enough for her to care so much because he is her "brother".

Not to mention her boyfriend, who is still with this woman who doesn't mind "sisterly fondling" the guy who is obviously trying to reunite their blood-related nethers.


Dishes

"The joy of getting noona all wet when her boyfriend is watching us"


Fangirl material enough for you? Well, here's the final jewel then. The noona-happy freak has a heart condition, despite kicking ass during the entire movie, as he is a troublemaker and all. I don't even know if that disease exists or if it's supposed to cause such problems, but I bet Miss "Writer" probably googled it more than I did.

So he dies and they all cry, because a complete stranger who wanted to steal his sister from her boyfriend causes such positive emotions in all of them, including said boyfriend. He made a sappy pre-death video though. That always gets fangirls and it feels like all the characters are just fangirls too. I guess it's too much to ask of Miss "Writer" to actually imagine what any other type of person might be like.

Which brings us to the topic title. Now, Kang Dong Won's quite big breakthrough (with fangirls) was with this movie. The minute he raised that umbrella and had that freaky "convicted serial sex offender" smile on him, they all went nuts.


Convertible

"In all this commotion and while no one is looking, I can drag her to an alley..."


And seeing as how the entire movie is a big angst-fest to make the two guys look hot, which has sparked anything from gay rumors for the actors to some very disturbing fanart I have had the misfortune of bumping into myself, it's easy to see how these kyaagirls got hooked.

So, Kang Dong Won is called a pretty-boy to this day, despite him being a 30-year-old man who has been nothing but "pretty" in most of his movies after that. Many years of proper cinema and high-quality works and the man can still not escape the kyaa fanbase which only looks at his "prettiness" and not his talents.

Until maybe now? They are making a drama out of this piece of pathetic excuse of a movie and novel. Which means some poor new kid will have to carry the incest-crazy character on his shoulders, along with many many fangirls who will surely scream and faint each time he looks at his noona like he's about to show her how much brother has "grown" since they last met.

Now, while I feel sorry for the kid, I do believe he will at least know what to expect, after what happened with the movie. This is a big opportunity for the guy, but it will come with a lot of bashing from fangirls too stuck with Kang Dong Won to look at any other man in this role and a lot of kyaaing from new ones who will eat the kid alive.

In the same manner, this can be very good for Kang Dong Won. Some new face will cover this role and he can escape his "early career mistake". Well, not a mistake, because it gave him opportunities which he used wisely, but still. Maybe if a new face covers this role and since Dong Won is now in his next decade and has been far away from kyaagirl-magnet works for a while now, he can finally have some peace about how "pretty" he is and how "awesome" he was in this movie.

But it can also be a bad thing. If the new guy is lacking (in looks, since the acting department wasn't good anyway) then everyone will keep saying how much better Kang Dong Won was. And if new fangirls turn their attention to the movie, we'll have a new wave of kyaaing idiots going gaga over how "pretty" he is.

I am hoping that his age, works and recent looks (not to mention event fashion) will keep them well at bay, but it is still one possible outcome.


Charming...

If this fine mess doesn't drive them away, nothing will


You might have been clued into the fact that I really like the man, what with me saying it all the time, writing about him all the time, my blog and forum images being decorated with him and that tag up there on the right --->, but I honestly thought he was bad in this. The work was bad, he was bad, the others in the cast were bad and I actually love Lee Cheong Ah too.

So, bring it on. If it's as bad as the movie, I'll have some laughs. Also, to whoever breaks the news to Kang Dong Won in the army. Please lay it on him gently and have a glass of water ready, because he will either be terrified or choke laughing.

Here is the Dramabeans page for it, for all your retarded fangirl comment needs (although, thankfully, some of the ones in this post seem to have a brain).

Also, here is the article on this at Hancinema and the original one at Nate. And to answer their question "No one". No one is the next Kang Dong Won because people and actors are unique. Idols and "actors" might all be the same as they seem to be getting their "inspiration" from a big set pool of "what netizens love (and will pay us a lot for)", but actors are unique. And people are unique no matter how much "Mr A looks like Mr B when they wear the same clothes, have the same hair, from a certain camera angle, at precisely 3 pm on Sundays and since they are both Asian".

 
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