Sunday, April 17, 2011

The No No's of a Fangirl's Morning...

There are some basic no no's for the mornings of people like myself. Just as you're not supposed to drink alcohol in the morning, take pills on an empty stomach, put your hands in your mouth or eyes if you haven't washed after your latest "relief" or screw your best friend's guy/girl. All of those lead to problems.

In a very similar manner, exposing fangirls to certain stimuli in the wee hours of the morning, when they are most susceptible (and fangirls are naturally very susceptible), will upset their "waking the hell up, eventually" routine and cause the already severe daydreaming habit of theirs to reach dangerous levels. Colliding with walls, furniture, your mom and other structural elements, items, or loved ones in your house kind of dangerous. It therefore consumes precious energy in the form of what is known as fangirling. The condition during which:

- The heart rate is faster and the subject becomes tired without the benefits of physical exercise
- The eyes become blind to any surrounding happenings or possible danger
- The lips seem to form a long-lasting stupid smile (or dropped jaw) which is present during the entire time of the fangirling and also at random times during that day or for the next few days
- Any rational thought of the subject becomes muddled and is replaced by sickening romantic shallow thoughts of the "He's so handsome" or "OMG! This iz so dreamy xx OPPAAAA heartheart" variety
- The aforementioned excessive daydreaming is on hyper mode for at least the day of the exposure
- There are other various symptoms of this very harmful disease, including what is known as kyaaing (making screaming KYAAAAAAAA sounds caused by over excitement) and peer harassing with videos and photos of the subject of the kyaaing

So, getting back to the no no's mentioned in the title, there are some things one can subject the fangirl to in the morning that simply overload their poor obsession ridden heart. The following scene, which I was subjected to this morning in video form, has many of these traits, which I will soon mention.


So, what are the elements about this scene that make it into the "No No's of a fangirl's morning" list?

- Aesthetically and artistically beautiful image and sound: Check
- A couple with very intense chemistry: Check
- A romantic scene from a romantic movie: Check
- A very beautiful woman with killer moves: Check
- A very handsome man with killer moves: Check
- A very handsome man with killer moves, period clothes and long hair: Check
- A very handsome man with killer moves, period clothes and long hair, who happens to be the subject of the fangirl's most recent, and still in full swing, obsession: Check
- No carelessly thrown in sexual content but a sensual display of chemistry in a very creative form (in this case, modern dancing meets fighting): Check
- The footage being from a movie that brings the fangirlness to its limits for the subject: Check

These are among the characteristics of this scene and movie that are simply no no's for a person's morning. The subject is rendered useless for the remainder of the day and is likely to drag others down into the pits of Annoying Girlishness with her. Sadly, many of them might disagree and just consider it a nuisance, causing the subject's social relationships to be rattled. And their mom being bored cause she just doesn't like the guy enough to watch his works again and again and again.

So, to all of you out there who have a friend or family member suffering from the fangirl disease, be understanding, patient and train yourselves in handling such people and their special needs. And for the love of sanity, don't feign excessive interest in their obsessions to get rid of them because they will cling to that and never let you go. The best way to go about it is to make sure you don't feed their condition and show enough interest in their right to be so without getting too involved. Passionately denying any involvement or overly avoiding the problem will cause them to become stubborn and persevere and too much interest will do the same. You have to find the right balance. Also, if any of the "No no's of a fangirl's morning" occur, get away from the infected as fast as you can or suffer the consequences.

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